between and betwixt

between and betwixt
It was a wild ride
to the river
that day
and a long walk down
a lonely rocky slope
to stand at the edge
where the out of focus chaos
of society in turmoil
receded at the presence
of the familiar watery calm
but that time
there was a difference
that time
I felt small
a weird sensation
as if I passed a boundary
so I looked all around
and felt what was to be felt
and still I was small
I felt
and with a shrug
whether tall or small
still I was me
so I accepted the feeling
with a satisfied chuckle
because underneath it all
I still knew what it is to be
me
so I strode further on
and stood at a rise
I looked all around
at the river and the grass
at my feet the water flowed by
and the dirt slowly followed
then I knelt gently down
on that shrub circled knoll
and the Earth
She did call out to me
but I hesitated, no answer,
She called again and
I reached out to touch Her
warm and smooth the bare dirt
soft and silky the blades of grass
I stroked and dallied
for a moment in time
enjoying a long forgotten memory
as I felt the passion pulse
and realized
my path, beginning to end
between and betwixt
so
with resignation I stood up
to contemplate the river
again and then turned
and at the apex of the knoll
quite above the ground
I hurled the fire of yesterdays
back the way I came
full of all the travail
broken dreams and bodies
the sicknesses and the deaths
all the anguish and sorrows
the laments and the pains
then motionless I stood
the shock of anger had passed
and everything went quiet
as I began to sway
first toward where I came
then toward where I went
back the way that was past
and then further to the way not yet
unconsciously at first
but with growing awareness
She spoke to me
and upon full realization
a moments hesitation
to enjoy the presentation
of the sway before the choice
tilting in and tilting back
an aching equilibrium
for a relaxing interlude
but though pleasant it was
I knew I could not stay and sway
a decision must be made
so I lifted my gaze skyward
and I cannot say
to this day
if the bolt, upon me did alight
or if it came from me
and upon the sky it did light
the choice was made
with Her I would be
and with new eyes I gazed
over to the river flow
swollen and hiding
what I thought I knew
just moments before
downriver it washed
and a new reality lay layered
and though I searched
for the moments that had passed
they had gone, no trace
and for a time
I missed that world of mine
that once I trod in broken rhyme
for a time
until the silence did break
by a chipmunk who scampered
and the wind did breeze
to rustle in the trees
the scent of the dirt
wet with the river
as time burned away
and I knew, then and still now,
I am who I am
no matter where I go
between and betwixt
upper, middle and lower
I will always be me
and She
will always be
She.