Still Alive

(written 06/09)

Still Alive

I'm still alive but I'm not doing so good.
My head has stopped screaming.
The "No!" took form and life of its own.
I remember it.
Fierce and beautiful.
But with no power
just like a dead flower.
The noise has stopped.
I hear a deep ringing silence.
I don't hear anybody.
Head twisted right.
Can't move.
I'm jammed up.
I need help.
I don't hear any sirens.
I don't hear anybody.
I don't hear my breathing.
Metal cold wetness holds my jaw to my shoulder.
Warm fuzziness radiates up from my upper chest as fog.
Something is poking me in the chest.
I'm stuck up against something.
It feels prickly and sticky.
My stomach is full.
Can't feel my butt.
Can't feel my back except for a buzzing.
Where's my legs?
They feel like they are floating free.
Their weight is like a memory of a shadow in water.
Hands.
I have hands.
Fingers move.
Something wrong with that finger.
Odd.
Elbow.
Oh, that's gonna hurt when I feel again.
Don't move it. Other one?
Ok.
Feels OK but wet.
Wonder how that happened?
I don't hear anybody.
Damn.
Hurry up.
Please.
Breathe.
Please.
Breathe.
Please.
Breathe. Please breath. Please breath! Please! Breathe!